Garage Parking

There are things in life that you are afforded by age-- the right to be blunt, to wear silly clothes, a glass of wine, control of the remote, and the coveted garage parking space. In high school I would grudgingly go outside early in the winter to start my car and scrap off any ice or snow that had accumulated overnight. I would spend most of the time glaring at my Dad through the front window thinking, "a really good Dad would do this for me." I once told him that while he sat on the couch drinking coffee and he just gave me a look that said, "are you crazy?"

My Dad earned the right to park in the garage! Growing up, I never realized why we lived in my Grandparents basement for several years. I never realized that in order to go to law school my Dad worked full-time and attended night school at the University of Denver. He completed a 4 year degree in 3 because of his determination, grit, and desire to work.

He sat on non-profit boards, coached our basketball teams, found time to ride his bike, kicked ass at his job, and never uttered a word about finding the correct work-life balance; he just found it! He told me this past summer that my generation was too concerned with work-life balance and that I should work until the job is done and not worry about hours. He took pride in his job and he took pride in his family. When Dad came home from a long day he pulled into his spot, placed his keys and wallet in the same place, and sat down in his chair to watch whatever game was on. He had earned the right to relax.

Since his death in August I have been the one parking in his space and getting control of the remote. I would argue for the right to for both privileges with my Dad when I was younger and he told me it was a gift of age and I'd have to earn it! Parking in the garage is actually painful for me some evenings. It is a visual and permanent reminder that Dad will never come home again. Somehow, I have become the working adult in my house and that terrifies me.

There are certain rites of passages that you look forward to for years and some that come way too soon. This summer I was finally able to buy a car by myself and it was a huge accomplishment. It was the first of many 'real life decisions' I had mapped out in my head and the next was going to be a 1 bedroom apartment with parking.

I never earned the right to park in the garage. It is one of the many things and responsibilities passed down to me through tragedy. Some things aren't supposed to be yours and, when they are, it brings a terrible weight to your soul. I would gladly scrap off my car each morning if it meant Dad's truck was still parked in the garage.