"I knew you'd come home"- Grandma Sheliah

"Happy Birthday, Grandma!"

"Happy Birthday, Kristin! I love you more than the whole universe!"

For the past 2 years my Birthday has been bittersweet because I haven't been able to share it with my Grandma Sheliah. There has been no rush to the phone to call each other to win the contest of who wishes the other 'Happy Birthday' first. The day has lost that special connection that made it so sweet. I have never been one (as I've gotten older) to celebrate my birthday with elaborate gatherings or parties. Instead, I was perfectly content to call my Grandma and share in that special bond we had with each other.

Three years ago she entered hospice on our birthday. My Mom refused to tell us because Jenn and Brian had driven to Beloit to celebrate with me and she wanted me to have one more happy day with Grandma. The next day when she told us we loaded the car around 4:30pm and started the long 15 hour drive home. We didn't tell Mom we were going to drive through the night because she would have worried and we didn't tell Dad because he was in trial and he would have worried even more. But he knew his kids well enough to know what we were doing and asked to enjoy our evening and to be sure we were safe.

When we pulled into our driveway around 7am my Mom scolded us for driving all night and then thanked us for getting there so quickly. When I walked into my Grandparents house and into the room Grandma was in she looked at me and said, "I knew you'd come home". Two days later, on April 5th 2009, my Grandma finally lost her fight to cancer surrounded by her entire family and best friends. She lived for her family and it was her strength and love that shaped who we are as a unit. She was, and alway will be, one of the most important people in my life. And I will never forget the look of relief on her face when she told me she knew I'd come home.

I've often wondered if it was Grandma Sheliah guiding me back home this summer. I still can't explain why I had the sudden and intense urge to transfer back to Denver--all I knew was it was incredibly important to go home. I believe she is my guardian angel and when things get really hard I feel her love surrounding me.

Tomorrow is going to be incredibly hard without 2 of my favorite people, it seems just like any other day. Sharing a birthday with my Grandma is beyond special and every year on April 1st I will think of her and cry a little. But, more than that, I will remember that Grandma was synonymous with home and her love will forever guide me back to my foundation. She always told me "I love you more than than the whole universe", and I know her love transcends worlds and will always be with me.