The World Spins Madly On

Jennifer turned 27 today without our Dad. This is another milestone that Jenn will celebrate without him and, in turn, it won't be nearly as sweet. It is a day for my Mom to celebrate her wonderful daughter who she wouldn't have had with out the love of her life.

It is bittersweet.

There have been countless other moments like this over the past 6.5 months. Moments where you want to be happy, to celebrate, but you feel that hole in your heart and you know it is in others as well. Those are the moments were you realize, with perfect clarity, that you will live the rest of your life without one of the most important people in your life.

It hurts.

Growing up, I knew my Dad had 2 big loves in his life; his family and law. I watched him painstakingly build his practice and talent a case at a time. I would mock him for his grumpiness before a trial but, secretly, I was amazed at his focus and work ethic. He died being one of the most highly respected lawyers in Denver and was at the top of his career. Our friends (and even some family) were surprised to realize how successful he was because they just knew him as Dan-- the man without the ego so many attorneys carry with them.

But, as a family, we knew how hard he worked and how much the people he worked with meant to him. He loved mentoring young attorneys and treated his staff like family. Whenever I spoke to my Dad when I was away I would ask about David, Lori, and Greg because they were the fabric of his professional life. Over the past 2 weeks David and Lori have decided to move forward with their careers and life at new law firms. I am happy for them and our family will always wish them the best! But it feels like I am loosing a part of my Dad all over again.

The law practice that he built is slowly dying. The cases he had are being handled by others and his people are leaving. I truly believe they should leave and that my Dad would want them to. They both have wonderful families and I can't imagine how difficult it was for them the past 6.5 months having to work without Dad.

It is impossible to comprehend how much has changed since his death in August. I see the effects his death has had on our family daily and, now, I see the second most important thing in his life falling to pieces. But the world spins madly on. People say the only constant in life is change, I just wish my world didn't have to change so much so quickly.