Learning About Finance

The past 7 months I have felt very out of control of my life and my emotions. I have struggled to find any type of balance because, to me, the world lost its balance on August 30th. Each day presents a new loss as we figure out how to function without Dad. Things that used to be an inconvenience (like new tires or rebuilding part of fence that blew down) are now incredibly scary. The security of our world has disappeared both emotionally and fiscally. And, for the first time in my life, I am intensely aware of money.

I was spoiled and sheltered from money concerns growing up. I didn't think twice about attending a super expensive liberal arts college because Dad always said he'd pay for undergrad. I knew I could work for a non-profit because if I ever came up short Dad would help me out. I didn't think twice about us going out to dinner, taking a vacation in the mountains, or spoiling each other on holidays. I never expected a free ride in life and I have always worked hard to be independent but I knew there was a safety net if I ever started to fall.

For the past 7 months fear about our financial security has left me paralyzed and afraid. I have no idea how to do the work I love and find ways to create a safety net for myself and my family. I am ignorant of how to build wealth and how to be fiscally smart. Which debt is most important to pay off? How do I invest money? How do I save enough for a down payment on a house? How do I protect the people I love financially? Who do I trust?

Dad's death has been a financial wake-up call for me. It has been incredibly stressful to feel paralyzed, scared, and ignorant of how to manage my personal finances well and with purpose. I realized last week that the person I trust the most is myself. It is time to become knowledgeable about finances and to stop burying my head in the sand. I need to take control!

So many young women that I know (myself included) admit to being ignorant about finances. Personal finances are taboo to talk about and it doesn't make sense to me anymore. Dad's death was a wake-up call to me that I need to empower myself to act with discipline and purpose; I need to be in control of my future and I need the knowledge to make smart financial decisions.

Finding balance is going to take a lot of time and work but there are simple steps I can take; managing my money correctly, being mindful of my grief, and finding ways to take better care of me and my family. Eventually, our world will balance out but until then I am going to do all that I can to reestablish the security I lost when Dad died.